Tides
by Sephira jo
Summary: Kanna, feeling trapped by her upcoming wedding to Pakku, takes a drastic measure and flees the North Pole. The adventure this sets her on shows her the world in all its beauty and challenges, eventually taking her to a place she can call home.


**Title:** Tides  
**Part:** 1?  
**Author:** Sephira jo  
**Series: **Avatar: The Last Airbender  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Pairing:** As of now, N/A

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Avatar, I'm not making any money off of this. This is nothing more than a happy and maybe a bit humble fanfiction.

**Archive:** With permission

**Author's Notes: **This story features Kanna's travel from the Northern tribes to the Southern tribes and what must be quite the story. I mean, since like Katara says, it's not exactly left at the next glacier, it's on the other side of the world.

* * *

"You know," Yugoda's tone was very matter-of-fact as she leaned over the pot of fish stew, "My mother heard from your aunt that your father is looking for a husband for you – again."

Kanna stopped what she was doing; leaving the few vegetables they had for the soup uncut, she laughed. "That's just gossip, Yugoda; I can't believe that you take that seriously." Kanna went back cutting the vegetables. "I mean, Dad's a tanner, and one of the best, you have to expect that people would be spreading those types of rumors. Dad won't marry me off without at least telling me about it first."

"Kanna," Yugoda leaned forward over the pot a bit, "You're going to be sixteen in two weeks, how can you think your Dad _isn't_ going to marry you off?"

Kanna laughed, "Come on, Yugoda, he _needs_ me here to help him. Since Mom died, I need to stay here. If Dad marries me off, I'll have to go live with that family, you know how _bad_ my father is at," Kanna gestured, "well, just about everything concerning daily life. If I wasn't here, I don't even think he'd eat. I mean, have you ever seen my dad _try_ to clean a fish?" Kanna brandished the whale tooth knife, "he doesn't do very well. There's no _way_ he'd marry me off and try to survive on his own."

"Unless he found a guy willing to come here and live with you," Yugoda pointed out, taking a spoonful of the soup, "Kanna, you cook better than my mom does."

"Oh please, where is Dad going to find a guy who'd willingly come to stay with us? That's the most insane idea you've ever come up with, Yugoda. Those long days in the Healing Hut are boiling your brains," Kanna laughed, adding the last of the vegetables to the stew, "And back off it will you? Or there won't be any left for Dad, and he is the one I'm trying to feed," Kanna pointed out, smiling as she said so.

"But I'm hungry now," Yugoda laughed and took another attempt at a spoonful only to be smacked with the flat of the knife Kanna was using, "Ow!" Yugoda shook her hand, "Anyway, you have enough here to feed a small army. Two spoonfuls won't make your dad go hungry."

"You never know," Kanna said melodramatically, "Those two spoonfuls may be the difference between life and death!"

"Kanna…"

"Yeah?"

"You're insane," Yugoda laughed.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Kanna said with a smile, finishing cutting the vegetables.

"I'm sure you will," Yugoda laughed again, going to fetch bowls. For all the show, she was staying for dinner and there were three bowls ready to be served. The stew did smell very good, and Kanna was a lot hungrier than she let on. Yugoda took a spoon and started to dish up, Kanna's father wouldn't be that much longer getting home.

And Kanna kept herself busy, the whale and fish stew created a scent that covered the entire house. It was almost like the stuff her mother used to make. Though the illness had been a long time ago, Kanna still missed her mother dearly. And though her father didn't say anything, she was sure he did too.

A burst of cold air heralded the open door. Though it wasn't very late, it was dark outside and would be dark for months, until the sun rose again and then a small period of days and nights would be followed by a long period of sun. In, from the long night, walked her Father.

"Hi Da-" Kanna stopped in the middle of the word and almost dropped her ladle. Why was _Pakku _with her father? "Um, hi dad, how was your day?" She asked again, trying to sound just as bright, "I didn't know you were bringing back company."

Yugoda gave a knowing smile. And at that moment, Kanna could banged her friend's head with the ladle and felt no regret. "I don't know if there's enough for four…" She added with a weak smile. Hoping Pakku would take the hint and leave. Or her father would take the hint and send him home. The boy was infuriating.

"Kanna," Her father's tone was soothing, "You always make way too much for the two of us. I'm sure there's plenty here for four." And it was decided. In the end, her Father's word was law as far as the house went. Stupid traditions.

"Hi Kanna," Pakku said with a bit of a stutter. He was so quick in cutting other people down; she always wondered exactly why he stuttered around her. Kanna smiled thinly and he blushed. Kanna raised an eyebrow at this and Pakku looked at her, then his gaze hit the ground then he looked at her again.

Crossing her arms over her chest Kanna nodded her head to a mat by the fire, "You can sit down, you know."

"Oh yeah," Pakku said and sat down on the matt, leaving Kanna to shake her head and glare at Yugoda who was still trying not to chuckle.

"So Dad, I hope you're hungry." Kanna said, as Yugoda helped her dish up the food, "I even made your favorite."

Her dad gave her a smile, "I could eat your cooking all day," he shot a glance at Pakku and Kanna's blood ran cold for a moment, "In fact, you're going to make some lucky boy a great wife."

_Sudden urge to spike soup with bones rising_, Kanna thought with a twitch of the eyebrow. "Daddy, you just don't know any better." She said with the best giggle she could muster, it was forced. She had hoped that Yugoda would pass out the soup, but best friend served Kanna's father and left her with the bowl to give to Pakku.

So many people tonight were wishing for death. If it wouldn't bring their ice carved home down around them, Kanna would've let out a very loud scream. She tried to show none of that as she handed a bowl to Pakku who smiled up at her as he took it and said, "Thanks, Chicken-legs."

"Don't call me that," Kanna hissed.

Pakku smiled, but it was a smile that spoke more of victory than it did of actual warmth. Sometimes she was sure the goal of this was to get a rise out of her. Though why he enjoyed annoying her was beyond her.

She took a bowl for herself, firmly resolving to not look over at him, which was hard to do, as everyone's position made it so she had to sit across from him. During dinner, she made casual conversation with her Father, asking about the trade. Or shot looks at Yugoda who grinned back, almost manically. The world seemed out to get Kanna, or so she thought.

Without even eating all of her food, Kanna set her bowl aside and kept her gaze away from Pakku who grinned like an idiot every time her eyes rested on him, with or without her volition. Kanna did her best to look bored. Her father cleared his throat and everyone turned their attention to him. Everyone except Pakku who was casually taking seconds of the soup.

Kanna found that rude, if her Dad was going to say something and Pakku was a guest he should have the decency to listen. She reached for and found her serving spoon. The restitution was swift and judging by the crack on Pakku's hand, painful.

He cried out and dropped the bowl, sending stew all over, "What was _that_ for!"

"You're a guest; the least you could do is listen!" Kanna snapped.

"Listen?" Pakku sounded indignant. Her father looked shocked, but Yugoda looked amused. "I already know what he's going to say, you little bitch!"

Kanna went pale and brandished the spoon at Pakku, "How _dare_ you call me that!" And in her own house, none the less! The spoon was coming down, aimed right for that incredibly large head of his. It was stopped mid-swing. Her Father's strong hand was holding her wrist firmly.

"Kanna, stop it and sit down," by the tone of his voice and the look on his face, hard set and grim, Kanna knew he wasn't amused.

"But Dad, I-" Kanna started and her Dad's sharp look cut her off.

"Sit down, Kanna," He repeated taking the spoon with ease. "And maybe we can fix this a bit before we move on."

Kanna sat down, a dumbfounded look on her face. Pakku was rubbing his sore hand and her father sat down between them. "Now," her father said simply, looking back and forth between the two of them, "Kanna, for once you will stay quiet and listen."

Yugoda looked between the three, her expression gone from amused to one of concern. "Um, would you like me to leave?" She asked, not sitting down.

Kanna shook her head vigorously. Yugoda would be a voice of support for whatever was afoot. Her father had another idea however and nodded once, "That might be best; of course, you can always come back later."

"Yeah," Yugoda said then smiled at Kanna, an expression that said 'hang in there' and turned to leave. "I'll see you later, Kanna," she waved over her shoulder and then Kanna felt horribly and utterly alone and frightened. This wasn't like her dad. The kind, bumbling, not always all there, father was replaced by someone with a lot more force.

Now, something Kanna had always chosen to ignore was strikingly apparent. Her fate would ultimately be decided by her father. And it seemed that fate was close at hand. Recovering from the stinging blow, Pakku regained a bit of his demeanor. Pakku was one of the few men, including her father that seemed to take her moods in stride.

Looking between the two of them, the now grinning Pakku and the visibly shaken Kanna, her Father put a smile on his face. "Now, Kanna, don't sit there looking like we're dragging you to your death. We're not."

Kanna attempted a grin, but it was shaky, "Well, that's good to know, Dad," she ended with a weak laugh.

Pakku cut in, the grin on his face, "Besides, if anyone was able to get close enough to kill you it would've happened long ago."

Kanna glared at him, and her father ignored the exchange. At least, he said nothing to reprimand a second slight by a guest in their home. Pakku was now back to himself, it seemed. "Now Kanna," her father started, settling his gaze on her, "In two weeks, you're going to be sixteen. It's high time we went about finding you a husband." As Kanna paled her father chuckled slightly, "And I have to say, you've made it really hard to do so. I won't be around forever, and there's making sure you'll be taken care of."

"Dad, you're hardly old," Kanna spoke up, her emotions plain on her face. "We don't need to worry about this yet."

Pakku sat back, playing with a jar of water an expression that seemed half bored, half amused on his face. Water came up to meet his hand, and Kanna found the fact that he was taking the time to _play_ annoying. "You know," Pakku stated, "all things considered you should feel lucky that I'm even here tonight."

"Excuse me?" Kanna started to stand, though her father's hand on her shoulder stayed that action, "What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Kanna, for once, I would be very grateful if you held your tongue for at least a couple minutes," her father spoke up. Again, rebuking her and not their 'guest.'

"But Dad!" Kanna gave her father a baleful look.

"I don't want to hear it right now, Kanna. Now, why don't you let me finish?" Her father's voice had on it an edge of seriousness that cut like a knife. Kanna nodded dumbly. After a pause, her father continued, "Now, as I was saying, in two weeks, you'll be sixteen. Most girls your age have been spoken for for a year or so by now. I have to admit, I've been starting to worry about exactly what I was going to do with you. But then Pakku saved me from that fear…"

"No!" And now Kanna did stand up, sudden understanding dawning on her. And both her father and Pakku looked at her shocked, "I'm not marrying him!"

Pakku stood up in that moment, looking hurt, though Kanna hardly believed he had the feelings to hurt. Standing up, he towered over her, "And why not! What's wrong with me?"

Suddenly, her father was standing between them. "Kanna, you hardly have a choice in the matter. Two weeks from now, you two will be married. Get used to the idea."

Kanna bit her lip, "Daddy," her voice had a pleading note to it, "I don't want to leave you here."

Her father's face suddenly had a tender expression on it, "You won't have to. Pakku will be living with us."

Tears came to Kanna's eyes unbidden, "Daddy, you're an idiot." Turning around, she ran into the long-lasting night that marked the winter.

Behind her, she heard Pakku call out, "Kanna, wait!"

* * *

The night was cold. Kanna stood underneath one of the ice bridges that arched over the icy rivers. Though time wasn't obvious during the long night that represented the winter, she knew it was getting late. There were no boats in the ice river, which there would be if businesses were still open and people still had places to go. Huddled in a thick fur coat, Kanna leaned against the wall, trying to keep from crying. She felt like an idiot for each of the tears that had come from nowhere.

How had her father thought this was a good idea? How could Pakku be so stuck up? How was it she wasn't able to have a say in this? All these thoughts mingled and left her feeling miserable.

"Kanna?"

A voice broke her out of her contemplative state she turned around to see Pakku standing off to her side. Without a word she turned her gaze back to the water. Kanna was silent for a moment longer then spoke up, "What do you want." Her tone was hardly soft, the question more accusing.

"I don't suppose we could talk for a moment. Without you trying to bite my head off?" Pakku added the last rather quickly, and took another step forward. Kanna, instead of looking at him, concentrated on the shape the wisp of her breath in the moonlight. After a moment she shrugged.

He took another step closer to her. The proximity bothered Kanna, but she didn't try to move away. "It's cold," he stated simply.

"Its winter, it's always cold," Kanna returned without a hint of a smile on her face. "Even in the summer, it's cold."

"Are you okay in that coat?" Pakku asked and took another step closer.

"I'm fine," Kanna said, taking another step off to the side, away from him, "really. You don't have to worry."

"It's cold," Pakku said simply, "Even in the summer, it's always cold."

Kanna glared at him, "What do you want?" She asked sharply.

Pakku fished through his pocket and pulled out a choker. In the moonlight, a carving of waves glinted. Her expression remained impassive. He held it up, like he wanted to put it on her but Kanna made no move to let him and then he held it out in his hand. She reached out and took it, looking at it in the moonlight. The carving was exquisite. But it didn't move her as she felt it would've in another situation.

"I made that, by hand," Pakku said with a shrug. Kanna hadn't known he was artistic. She looked up at him with a steady gaze then down at the necklace. It wasn't like him, she thought.

"Why me?" Kanna asked, her hand closing around the charm.

"You know, I'm not sure. It doesn't make any sense," Pakku said with a shrug. "I've thought about it, and I can't even figure it out."

Kanna frowned, the hand around the charm becoming a fist, "Why doesn't it make sense?" She asked, her voice dropping dangerously.

"Well, look at you," Pakku said with a nod of his head as if it explained everything, "You're stubborn, thick headed, sharp tongued, sarcastic, temperamental, violent – when the mood takes you, which is often, you'll look a man right in the eyes like a wild animal, with no respect," as he spoke for each fault he held up another finger. With each counting, Kanna felt her temper rise.

"Isn't there _anything_ you like about me?" Kanna half asked, half snapped. "Or is this some pity proposal on your part?"

"Well," Pakku put a great show into thinking, "You're a great cook. You're also very pretty. And think about it, where are you going to find a guy as generous as I am to take you in despite all your faults?" He finished with a grin.

That did it. Moving quickly Kanna stepped in close. Pakku, maybe thinking she was going to embrace him spread his arms out wide. The look of surprise when her 'embrace' ended up to be a hard shove off the curb and into the waterway was priceless.

With a hard splash, Pakku hit the water and started to tread instantly. Kanna looked down at him, "I don't need your 'generous' offer, Pakku! I'm just fine on my own!"

Kanna turned on her heel to leave. Over her shoulder she heard Pakku call out, "You're lucky I like you so much! Because no one else will ever be able to put up with you! Two weeks, Kanna! Two weeks and regardless of whether you like it or not, you'll be my wife!"

Turning around, Kanna threw the necklace he had given her, hitting him in the forehead, "Pakku, why don't you just die!" Without waiting for him to say anything more, she turned on her heel and left. Tears were frozen on her cheeks, and she was glad he couldn't see them. What he thought of her shouldn't have mattered, but it did.

* * *

Two weeks passed with more speed than they had any right too, Kanna thought. The wedding was tomorrow. While she sat back and did nothing to encourage the wedding, everyone was busy. Pakku came by all the time, Kanna never able to take much of him at a time was now being bombarded with his presence. Yugoda came by often, and went about sewing Kanna's wedding garment. An activity that she wouldn't do on her own.

The light blue and white dress looked like it belonged to a stranger. Yugoda did an amazing job on it, the thick hide mixed with beads of various colors and stitching that Kanna couldn't pull off on her best days. Yugoda, who was recently married herself, tried to comfort her friend.

"It won't be that bad," Yugoda had said time and time again over the two weeks. "You'll see, once you get settled in I'm sure you'll be able to deal with it better."

Kanna didn't buy it. It didn't seem possible that everything would magically be okay after the wedding. After all, there was the _wedding night_ to 'look forward' too. And the thought of doing anything of that sort with Pakku turned her stomach. Sure, he was good looking and there was a bit of stirring as far as that went. It was his attitude that made the thought of wifely submission impossible.

When it came down to that, Kanna would fight him. She wondered vaguely with a grim smile and an equally grim amusement exactly what Pakku would think of that.

Yugoda was putting the finishing touches on the dress and looked up at her friend. "You're smiling, that's good! I haven't seen you smile since I was over for dinner last."

She put the garment down and grinned at her friend, "You see, it won't be so bad. It's good to see you smiling again, and I hope it's not from a list of 'bad thoughts.'"

"Sorry," Kanna said simply, "It is."

Yugoda sighed melodramatically, "It won't be so bad, Kanna. You're acting like you're being executed tomorrow – not married. Tomorrow will go fine, you'll see."

Kanna flicked at the charm on the choker her father had been making her wear. Even with the exquisite workmanship it still seemed more like a collar than any symbol of upcoming happiness. "You're all insane," Kanna said simply, dryly, "I don't love him." Unless the constant urge to strangle someone was love. And Kanna didn't think it was.

"So?" Yugoda was now regarding her friend seriously, "I don't really 'love' my husband. He's nice enough, but I don't really love him. Its marriage, it doesn't have anything to do with love."

"If you don't love him," Kanna asked, crinkling her nose, "how can you do the _other_ things with him?"

Yugoda blushed and turned her face away, Kanna got the impression that she had just unsettled her friend greatly. "I don't see how that's your business, Kanna," Yugoda said simply. Then she giggled, "Besides, he's cute enough and I do want kids."

Kanna gave Yugoda a look that very plainly said she thought her friend was crazy. Yugoda was still giggling and defended herself, "Look, it's really not so bad. The first time will hurt a bit, but after that," she broke off laughing, her face red, "Look, you'll find out soon enough so I'm not even going to say anything else."

Kanna gave an over exaggerated shudder, "Anyone but Pakku," she said, for what had to be the thousandth time in the two weeks, "I'd rather be a nun."

"Well, you're not going to be a nun," Yugoda said, "And good thing too, as I think you'd drive the other nuns insane."

"Maybe I'll leave," Kanna said, it was half a joke, "I've always wanted to see the world."

"Oh, and who's going to take you? Trade's been closed off for years, with the war, and I doubt you can get a lift on a whaling ship. Kanna, whether you like it or not you're getting married tomorrow," Yugoda held up the dress, "There, it's finally done. What do you think?"

Kanna looked over at the dress; even with the bleak mood of her impending bondage she couldn't deny the dress was a work of art. "Yugoda, it's… beautiful…"

"Thanks! I can't wait to see you in it tomorrow," she set the dress down and stood up, "Now, I have to get home." She moved and embraced Kanna. Kanna hugged her friend back. She had a plan, a desperate and wild plan, and if it all worked out – one way or another – she wouldn't be seeing her friend again.

"Goodbye, Yugoda. You're a great friend," Kanna's voice was strained.

If Yugoda thought anything about Kanna's tone, she didn't say anything other than, "Silly, I'll see you tomorrow. Get some rest."

Kanna watched her friend leave. She turned her attention towards the dress. Picking it up, she noted how heavy the ceremonial garment was. It really was a work of art. It would be a shame to never wear it, at least once. Curiosity prompted her to take the garment to her room and she changed out of her normal blue dress and piece by piece put on the wedding gown. It even came with a pair of boots, the white and blue hide with its many beads and stitching felt fancy and not at all like her.

It was strange to wear the dress, almost eerie. Padding out, the soft boots hardly made any noise, she went to the ice carved mirror in the main room of the house. The girl looking back had a somber expression – not like an excited and happy bride to be. It didn't look like her at all. She turned her head to one side and smoothed down the dress. She tried to smile. It looked forced and rictus and it fell.

Kanna turned away; she felt like a character in a play. A play she wanted no part in. Moving back to her room she pulled the garment off with little ceremony and no small amount of force, throwing it on the bed. It was time to get everything she needed and time to go.

She dressed in her normal clothes quickly, putting her thick seal hide boots back on. From under her bed she pulled a few small bundles of dried vegetables and cured smoked meats. It was enough food to last her a few weeks, if she rationed it. She put the bundles all in one large bag. Now, she had to get some fresh water. There was a well near by that she could go to and get a couple jars.

Kanna knew enough, after all, to not drink sea water. From what she had heard, it caused sickness in those who tried, so she had to procure a supply of fresh water. She put on her coat and taking two large water jars (they had wax lids) she started toward the fresh water well that was a couple blocks from her house. The night was getting late, and she shouldn't have to worry about running into anyone.

She made it to the well and filled the two large jars. Kanna tried to lift up both jugs only to find out they were now a lot heavier than they had been. This was the first time she had ever fetched two jugs at once, and she realized with a start she hadn't thought of carrying them back to the house, then carrying them sealed to the small kayak she had found.

She swore. After a few minutes of puzzling over it, she carried one jar and dragged the other. It was slow going. "Kanna?" A voice broke in with a chuckle, "What are you doing?"

Kanna froze as Pakku walked up behind her, a grin on his face. "That's a lot of water," he said and before she could protest he picked up the jar that was dragging through the snow behind her.

"Yeah," Kanna said nervously, "Look, you don't have to help out with this."

"Yeah, I do," Pakku said simply. And he gave her a smile that wasn't like his normal twisted, sarcastic one. Instead, this smile made him look boyish. "Tomorrow, by this time, we'll be married. It's only right that I help you out occasionally."

Kanna gave him a skeptical look, "Knock yourself out then." _After all_, she thought, _I won't be around tomorrow._

Instead of a biting reply, she got more of a boyish grin and he suddenly asked, "Are you nervous? You know, about tomorrow."

The question took Kanna by surprise, "I… guess I am," she said honestly. She was nervous about the rest of her life. If she survived the boat trip, she might be able to make herself a life in the Earth Kingdom. And she'd be leaving behind her father, her friends. Even Pakku's annoying profile had become familiar over the years. He had been after her since they were children. And now, on the eve of his ultimate triumph, he seemed more like a boy and less like a tyrant.

"Yeah, I am too," Pakku admitted, "But tomorrow, you'll see, everything will work out. And then, I'd like to think we could be happy? And maybe," he laughed, "call a bit of a truce."

They were at her house now, and she stopped outside the door, looking up at him. Suddenly, she felt sorry for him. He might never have known how to express it, but Kanna was sure that in his own way, he cared for her. She just couldn't summon the same feelings. She looked down at the jar in her arms, and also felt a wave of guilt, "Pakku… I…"

"What?" Pakku asked softly, gently setting the water jar down.

There were a hundred things she wanted to say to him. To try to explain herself and what she was about to do, but the only thing that came out was a choked, "I'm sorry."

A weight was taken from her arms as Pakku took the jar and set it on the ground next to the other one. When he went to touch her face, she didn't stop him. He had taken his glove off, and his hand was warm, "Sorry? For what?" Pakku asked simply. Kanna thought this was eerie, how nice he was being.

"For…" Kanna paused, "Everything, I guess."

"Apology accepted," Pakku said, and then Kanna saw the return of the smile she recognized, "After all; you can't be so bad for the rest of your life."

Before she could snap back at him he kissed her forehead, "See you tomorrow." He turned and left. The last look Kanna had of him was of his confident swagger going off into the night.

"No Pakku," Kanna said softly, "You won't."

She took the jars inside one after another and sealed them. Her father was already abed, not surprising given how much work the past two weeks had been. She moved and looked in on her sleeping father. Tears came to her eyes. "Good bye Daddy, I love you."

She turned away, and took one jar down to the kayak. She hated having to make two trips and moved back as fast as she could back to the house. She put her back over her back, carried the other jar in one arm, and looked towards her bed with the dress. On impulse she picked up the dress as well carrying the heavy garment under one arm.

She made the trek back to the small boat and set down the jar next to its twin and placed the bag next to them. Holding up the dress she regarded it in the moonlight. For a long moment she stared at it the white and blue with the beads.

And then, she was crumbling the heavy, complicated gown into a ball. With a yell she pitched it as hard as she could into the sea. It hit the water with a splash. Kanna didn't think twice about this waste of a gown. For a moment she considered pitching her necklace as well, but then she realized it would be the only thing she had to remind her of home.

And she was never coming back. As Kana stepped into the boat she looked up at the full moon.

_I know I'm not all that spiritual, but if there isn't anything else planned for me, then I commend myself to the sea. But if I have another destiny, any destiny elsewhere, let me get there in one piece. Let me find somewhere I can live and be happy – if not, I'd rather be dead._

_Let the sea take me,_ Kanna thought to herself as she pushed the boat off into the cold night ocean. _Let the sea take me home. _


End file.
